HEALTHY BODY FOCUSED MIND

FOCUSED MIND & HEALTHY BODY

Hi guys, so you'll hopefully remember from my previous post the phrase: HEALTHY BODY FOCUSSED MIND right? Now in that post I explained very briefly what it was and what it mainly consisted of, but in this post im gonna go a little bit more in-depth. 

This is all stuff that has helped me a lot during my healing and recovery process, and that I am really excited to share today with all of you! This stuff is truly what helped me the absolute most after my breakup. Doing this stuff literally picked me up from the ashes, and I started feeling whole again within only a matter of days. 

If each of you can do even just one of these thigs for more than 15 minutes, ATLEAST ONCE A DAY, the benefits are literally endless!!!

I have broken them up into 2 categories - healthy body and a focused mind, and it is simply doing yoga, meditating, doing physical exercise / training / working out, speaking positivity into your life / speaking only positively and about good things, doing daily affirmations, watching motivational videos online not videos about narcissism in general – once you know enough about them to know that your ex is one, that’s enough – move on. If you get stuck on that topic for too long it becomes like a black hole and can suck you dry before you know it. Let's now go into each item in a bit more detail real quick... 

1) FOCUSED MIND:

• Meditate 

 Meditation can give you a sense of calm, peace and balance that can benefit both your emotional well-being and your overall health. During meditation, you focus your attention and eliminate the stream of jumbled thoughts that may be crowding your mind and causing stress. This process may result in enhanced physical and emotional well-being. And these benefits don't end when your meditation session ends. Meditation can help carry you more calmly through your day and may help you manage symptoms of certain medical conditions.

If you have never done this before then it is best to use guided meditations which are geared towards any number of topics, etc.: recovery, healing, confidence, clearing you mind, self-esteem, you are enough, life goals, etc.

• Positive Affirmations

Affirmations are positive statements that can help you to challenge and overcome self-sabotaging and negative thoughts. When you repeat them often, and believe in them, you can start to make positive changes in your thinking and feeling. They can leave you feeling happier, healthier, more confident, filled with energy, and can even mitigate the effects of stress.

Examples of Possible Positive Affirmations:

I know, accept and am true to myself.

I believe in, trust and have confidence in myself.

I eat well, exercise regularly and get plenty of rest to enjoy good health.

I learn from my mistakes.

I know I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.

I forgive myself for not being perfect because I know I'm human.

I create my life on a quantum level. ...

I have a healthy body, tranquil mind and a vibrant soul.

I am enough.

I don't entertain negativity in any shape or form. ...

I love the fact that so many people have faith in me.

• Speak Positivity Into Your Life:

Positive words, such as “peace” and “love,” can alter the expression of genes, strengthening areas in our frontal lobes and promoting the brain's cognitive functioning. They propel the motivational centers of the brain into action, according to the authors, and build resiliency.

The words that come out of our mouth can have a huge effect on us, and others. When you hear the words, “speak life”, what comes to mind? How about if I said speak life into your husband, children, to others, and into yourself; what does that mean?

When you speak life, you are speaking positivity, hope, and of love. What is the opposite of life… Death? In Proverbs 18:21 it says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

• Focus on Helping Others:

2) HEALTHY BODY

• Exercise:

We all have read so much about the benefits of exercise and know how it is beneficial for our physical and mental health. Depressed and anxious people are offered counseling to improve their mood and one of the suggestions is to add an exercise regimen in their schedule. The holistic view of treating anxiety and depression, takes into consideration the role of exercise and how it affects mood. People, who have endured grief, loss, trauma, neglect, and abuse, carry an emotional pain and this pain can be significantly reduced with exercise 

Physical exercise helps increase self-esteem, mental and physical strength, improves mood, reduces stress and facilitates better physical health. The brain neurotransmitters play an integral role in promoting better healing of the emotional pain. With the daily practice of healing emotional pain through exercise, you will become more self-aware and be in touch with your feelings. Being aware is the first step in resolving problems.  

The Healthy Body Focused Mind solution can bring about a transformation in you and you will become more optimistic, as opposed to, being cynical and paranoid. You are the only person who can heal yourself. Once you make this as an integral part of your routine, you will begin to use it when you feel depressed, anxious, confused, indecisive and weak.

• Yoga:

While yoga can be a physically intense activity, the poses and asanas of a practice can bring your brain into a deeply focused, neutral state. This helps you process anything that is bothering you subconsciously, but that you’ve been unable or unwilling to access directly.

You’re in yoga class: your breath and concentration have helped you relax and calm your mind, wiping away any of the immediate stress and worry. Your present preoccupations are swept away and the superficial level of your brain is now on the back burner, focused on the physical challenges of the practice.

Your deeper mind now has the opportunity to process issues that you’ve been holding below the surface of your immediate consciousness, whether that is stress or anger or intense sadness—or maybe a confusing mix of many things.

• Live Healthier:

• EAT MORE FRUITS AND VEGETABLES
• SNACK LESS ON CHOCOLATE AND CANDIES
• EAT LESS FATTY AND FRIED FOOD
• OPT RATHER FOR NATURAL FOOD FROM HOME
• DRINK MORE WATER
• GET ENOUGH SLEEP
• DECREASE SCREEN TIME AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE
• TRY CUT DOWN SMOKING, DRINKING, VAPING, RECREATIONAL DRUG USAGE, ETC
• BE MORE CONSISTENTLY ACTIVE
• LAUGH MORE
• SMILE MORE

Once you start making a conscience decision to treat your mind and body better than you have been before, the decision to start living healthier and treating your body better should almost come naturally with that. If it doesnt, dont worry - everyone is different and we all evolve in our own way and at our own pace. 

 My Beginners Yoga Workout Video

Hi guys, so one of my major philosophies in getting over a relationship, a marriage, loss of a loved one, a job, a beloved family pet, well really the loss of anything, is EXCERCISE!!!

Keeping a healthy body and focused mind are the key tools in getting over a traumatic experience, and learning to take control of your life by taking control of your time, your body, and your mind. This is especially usefull when healing from a particularly damaging experience like dating / loving a narcissist, and all of the verbal, emotional and physical abuse that goes along with it.

I can happily and confidently say that doing these simple (simple to do but not easy to follow) things atleast once a day was my absolute saviour - when I was at my worst and darkest hour these excercises brought me back to life!!

So my philosophy for this is called: "HEALTHY BODY FOCUSED MIND" and im gonna go ahead and break it down for you guys here quickly so you can get a basic idea of what im talking about.

First I'l break it up into sections, and then give examples of each..

HEALTHY BODY

• Do Excercise - Yoga, Pilates, Swimming, Walking, Cycling, Aerobics, etc
• Eat Healthy(er)
• Treat your body better - get enough sleep, eat enough fruit & veg, get fresh air, drink water, etc

FOCUSED MIND

• Do Meditation
• Incorporate Positive Affirmations into your daily routine
• Watch Motivational Videos and Speakers (NO MORE NARC VIDEOS!!)
• Practice Mindfulness
• Practice "Active Refocussing" - this is just a name I gave to a very useful technique I doscovered, which is that every time you find yourself thinking about your ex / feeling sad about your ex / wanting to phone or text your ex / see something that reminds you of your ex / are just feeling sad about your lost relationship, etc, then you actively have to reshift your focus onto something else that is positive and motivating, for example, what i did was everytime I caught my own mind drifting back to him, I would stop my thought cycle, tell myself its ok to miss him but im done being sad, and then i would really concentrate really hard on doing my affirmations. In the beginning until I had them memorised, I actually just wrote myself out a little list of affirmations to carry around with me and from that list i could pick and choose which specific ones were best suited to that moment of that day, and then do those until i started believeing them and began to feel better!! It may sound silly to you but I can guarantee you it is completely successful IF YOU DO IT CONSTANTLY AND CONSISTENTLY!!

So please guys, put your comfiest workout clothes on, clear 30 minutes for some "ME-TIME", follow the link at the top of this page to my workout video, and have a blast!! If you dont feel better after this then let me know and I will personally apologise to you live and on air!!

Ok guys thats it from me today, take care Y'all xxx

I AM A NARCISSIST AND THIS IS MY TRUTH...

 Hi guys! So this is something i wrote as if from a narcissists point of view and serves as a one sided summary of a relationship in their mind. I did it to help survivors of abuse understand their mind set and use it to see that it was never personal against them, they were just playing a role in the narcissists play..

I am a narcissist..

Or, to be more specific and factually accurate, I a. a person with strong narcissistic and other Cluster B personality traits.

You are my partner, my girlfriend, my husband, my child, my wife, my mistress, my flirtation, my mistake. We have been together for, in my opinion, too long, and you have worn out your use to me..

The "relationship" that the two of us have is extremely toxic and unhealthy for all involved. It is already faaar beyond the devalue and initial discard phase and has nowhere to go but further down.

You are no longer a viable "source" for me and my narcissistic needs. Your novelty has worn off and youre not nearly as entertaining and as much fun for me anymore.

To make matters worse, you have recently become even more frustrating and infuriating. You have, inexplicably, started sticking up for yourself and fighting back..

You no longer crave my approval as much as before, if at all, and I am having to work even harder to make you believe my lies and empty hollow threats.

You don't beg me to stay as much as before, and i know I am slowly starting to lose my grip on you.

My power over you and your world has been diminished, over time, over me, over you, over it all, overdue, over over and over.

I can begin to hear the hopelessness in your argument and I can see the flashes of hate and loathing in your eye. At first just once, but now more and fewer between.

Your value to me as a source of narcissistic "supply" has all but run out.

Remember that, like a mythical and revered vampire, I absolutely FEED off of you, your attention and responses to me - whether good or bad.

I need it. I must have it. It is my blood and my life force. I desire it. I deserve it. And I absolutely WILL have it.

In the beginning, lovely, loving, "love-bombing" stages, everything I do produces such a strong positive reaction out of you, which I find completely intoxicating. Your live quite literally is my drug.

Then, slowly, the high that I get from your "positive" responses begins to wear off, it loses its sparkle and becomes ugly, hollow and boring. Oh no!.. This is terrible!! What do I do now??

Then, glory of glories, we have our first blow out. Together we find ourselves right in the midst and middle of our very first heated and impassioned argument.

And it is GLORIOUS!!

Just like that I have found my new drug of choice - your anger, disbelief, confusion and profound frustration, all coupled with your intense, beautiful and pure, unadulterated rage! This is now my greatest desire.

I need it. I bask in its energy. I feed on it. I cannot live without it, and by extension, you.

So I start to bide my time and plan my attack.

Being the amazingly clever and crafty me that I am, I know that I cannot indulge in this new pleasure too much and too often, especially not right in the beginning, for if pain and heartache are all that I give you, then you will surely leave.

You will leave me, and I will have to start all of this again from scratch - how exhausting!!

No! I will not let you leave.

I need you to stay. I need you to love me enough to stay, and to get angry, and to shout, and to give me the "fuel" that I so rightly deserve.

I need you to believe that there is a reason to stay, that somewhere, deep down inside me is a hurt little bird with a broken wing that you can pick up and nurse back to health.

I need you to think that if you love me enough I will love you back, but I never will.

I need to convince you that, get this, you are the problem.. AND I DO!!!

I need you to try harder, to be better, to love more, to expect less, and to demand nothing.

So, I need you to stay, atleast for now, so I set about adopting and perfecting my new strategy of attack, and it works like a charm. I pull the strings and you, my humble dull little puppet, play your part perfectly.

I alternate between giving you small "crumbs" of love and attention, and then suddenly and for no reason giving you the cold shoulder and ignoring you for hours or sometimes even days on end.

To you my face has no expression, but when you turn your back to wipe the tears that you don't think I see, that is when I laugh and smile my sick winners smile.

I need to keep you so baffled and confused that mine is the only word you trust, and you begin to seek it out for everything.

I then use this as a tool against you when I complain about your nagginess and neediness and whining.

How delicious this all is!

I trap you in nonsensical conversations that have no rhyme or reason, and arguments that go nowhere but circles.

I victimize you, I yell at you, I berate you and push you.

I hold you close In the middle of the night and whisper in your ear how much I love you and how you have changed my life.

I tell you that I hate you and I can never lose you.

I scream at you in the store and call you a stupid *#&%^

I ridicule your friends and slap your family.

I keep you away from any and everything that you love so that it is only me and I am your world.

I dissappear and turn my phone off before reappearing and accusing you of hearing around and lieing to me about it.

I phone you with her lips around my d*$k. I call you a hoar and then hang up and go offline.

I like all of your pictures on Facebook, and then I like all of my exes pictures and hope you see.

I invite your enemies and block you at the same time.

I protect my phone at all times but demand constant and open access to yours.

My privacy is sacred but you have none.

I pry and snoop and make up and deceive.

Destroying you is now my only ambition and I do it effortlessly. I watch you slowly crumle and shake and I can barely contain my joy.

Then, just when i sense that you are so completely baffled by my eratic and childish behavior and no longer have any idea what is real and what is going on, that is when I know the time has eventually come for me to fully and finally unleash my full and fantastic fury.

I start a ridiculous fight about nothing in particular and push and push and push us until you finally explode and give me what I have been wanting and craving all along.

Your anger, rage, tears, shouting, frantic reasoning, desperation and tears is now my new and preferred "supply" and I finally have it.

You have given it to me. All of it. And I gobble it up like a starving child.

I needed you to need me, more than anything, more than ever, more than air, and you do. You need me so much that I can see it in your eyes.

I look deep into your soul when you are there, kneeling before me to try and barr my escape. I finally see the culmination of all my work and efforts. There, in your eyes..

Once we have reached this stage then the "breadcrumbing" of positive attention we get from them becomes more and more scarce, until it is basically nonexistant.

I now longer need to do anything to fuel your meltdown.

You are officially "trauma-bonded" to me. But i can no longer stand the sight of you.

Once again your supply has diminished and your reactions no longer satisfy.

You have exceeded your usefulness and overstayed your welcome.

At this point the mask is now completely off and you have nothing left to give me that I want. Only negativity and hatred and these no longer interest me.

You are now nothing but a dull and broken mirror in which to see myself, and i cannot stand it.

I can never trully look at myself realistically and honestly because all i see is my own ugliness, and this is something with which i can not cope. It is this internal and eternal ugliness that is the driving force behind me and my narcissistic tendencies in the first place.

I do all of what i do in an attempt to hide, ignore, run away from and escape this empty broken thing inside of me, bubbling just under the smooth and polished surface which i worked so hard to create, and still try so desperately to hold on to.

But it is impossible, this thing is alive and growing and it will not be ignored.

It is so huge and dark and gaping for me, inside of me, within me, behind me and all around me.

It is always growing and shouting and laughing and crying and still, always, and still demanding more. more. more!

It is always there, in my peripherals - crouching, lurking running, chasing, right behind me, with its outstretched hands just inches away from my shoulders..

I can feel its cold breath on the hairs of my neck when i wake up in the morning covered in a cold sweat of terror.

I can smell whiffs of its inky black stench when I breathe in your perfume and I want to gag.

I can hear its cold, sneering whispers on the autumn breeze on which the leaves dance and sway.

I can see the edges of its black, foreboding coat tails flapping in the dark winters night as it whips around the corner and just out of sight.

Everything I do, say, steal and f*&k is all just used only to serve as a distraction for me, to keep me to busy to ever think about this thing that i so dread but cannot escape.

I treat the people in my life as property and toys - only here to serve me and mine to do with as I please.

I use my partners as "noise makers" to try drown out its eternal screams but i cannot because it is always louder.

I try to lose it in the mist of a drug and drink filled haze but i cannot because it is always brighter.

I buy and steal pretty things to have and to pack in front of me in an attempt to slyly block it from view but i cannot because it is always larger.

I use your compliments and flatteries to try and placate it but i cannot because it only make it hungrier.

I try to drown it in your tears of rage and desperation but i cannot because it is always greater...

Now stop! You. Take a step back. Out of this cacophony of noise and movement and business and terror..

Do you hear that?..

The silence..

Its deafening!! Can't you hear it??

Bursting your eardrums, tearing your skin, blinding your vision - its terrible!! Its aweful.

It is quiet and silent and peaceful and happy and content and must be avoided at all costs.

Because here, in the stillness and tranquility and silence, there is nothing else but me.

With nothing here to look at or listen to or argue about or play with there is only me..

There is only me, deep, dark, empty, ugly, aweful, pitiful, terrible me.

Here in this dark ugly empty hateful scary place, and I am frightened and I want to leave.

You are my mirror and this is my truth.